Though I presently carry on my service in separation from you, I know that each step taken in your service brings me nearer to you. I feel your presence beside me, even in silence; I see your gentle smile reflected in the mirror of my heart. Every prayer I offer, every round I chant, every service I perform is dedicated to you, in the hope of honoring your name and the priceless teachings you imparted. The void left by your departure has only deepened my resolve to walk the path you so brilliantly illuminated.
Your divine presence left an indelible mark upon this world and upon our hearts—a mark that no force of time or tide will ever erase. Even now, your love and mercy reach across this vast distance of separation, giving me the strength to persevere. Your vision of a world transformed by Krishna consciousness fills my mind, and with each effort I make in your service, I strive to fulfill even a fraction of that dream. Yet, the weight of your mission rests heavily on my shoulders, constantly reminding me of the unwavering dedication with which you labored, despite every obstacle, to establish this movement for the salvation of all.
As I travel this world, speaking on the glories of Krishna and His service, it is your voice that speaks through me. I feel your love in every kirtan I lead, in every festival I arrange, and in every life that is touched by Krishna consciousness. Though my words may fall short and my efforts may be imperfect, I know that in each heart that turns toward Krishna, your legacy lives on. Your kindness and determination have become my guiding star, illuminating the path ahead. And in the moments when the path feels lonely in your absence, I remember that your transcendental presence remains with every single one of us who labors for your mission—just as you promised.
Srila Prabhupada, as I reflect on the years of my life, I am humbled by all you have so freely bestowed upon me. You have blessed me with a family in the form of countless disciples, friends, godbrothers, and godsisters — each one a precious gift on this path. Through them, I witness Krishna’s mercy and see how your mission continues to expand, bringing new hope to hearts once lost. From these devotees, I draw strength and inspiration, and I pray to serve them with the same love and patience that you so generously showed me.
My dear spiritual master, I pray once again for the good fortune of having your vapu as the object of my constant vision. Whether you bless me again, or chastise me again, I will consider both as equal expressions of your mercy. When your Guru Maharaja, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura, was preaching, his disciples would say that “prabhupādera dāl” (his remnants of dāl) and “prabhupādera gāl” (his sharp words of chastisement) have the same effect. They both lead to Krishna-prema.
Dearest Śrīla Prabhupāda, in Sanskrit, one of the terms used to denote a disciple is ante-vāsī. The term means that the student is at the door of his guru, waiting outside his home (ante), standing (vāsī) and holding paraphernalia for the service of his guru. I pray that you make me an ante-vāsī standing outside your door now and forevermore.
So, on this sacred day, I once again lay my heart, my soul, and my life at your lotus feet. I bow before you, offering my tears of separation as a homage to your infinite kindness. May I continue to carry your mission forward with courage, may I honor your teachings with purity, and may I one day be worthy to stand before you again—finally reunited—in the service of the Supreme Lord.
